Common Financial Mistakes That Couples Make
“Money often costs too much” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the most frequent reasons that couples argue is money – or at least that is the way in which other underlying problems may be manifested. For a new partnership, or indeed an existing one, it can take a thorough examination of the “real” people within the relationship to get to the root of the problem, and avoid the common financial mistakes that couples make.
Separate Bank Accounts
Nearly all arguments related to money are caused by a conflict in core values, and it is these values which each individual brings to a relationship that influences how they work, rest and play – and spend! Inasmuch as maintaining a level of financial independence may be important to one or both of the partners in a relationship, there will be times when “boring things” have to be accounted for, and a joint pool of money is a necessity to cover these items. Provided that there is an equal and fair distribution of any funds that are left over, joint accounts are a good way to building trust and reinforcing a relationship. By all means keep individual accounts, but only to cover your pocket money rather than the household expenses.
Ignoring Debt Management
It is almost impossible to get through life without acquiring a number of substantial debts and the way to approach these as a couple is as a joint debt. Most people will have acquired a debt of some nature - even before you met them. There is finance on the house, on the car, credit card bills or student loans to pay off. We live in an age when relationships often come with “liabilities” such as a child or pet, and in the same way as you would accommodate a child or pet into your life, you have to do the same with debt. There is no benefit in thinking “Oh, that is their debt. I do not have to deal with it”, because any debt will affect the relationship and the amount of disposable income that is available to you both – so you better both deal with it!
Who Buys What?
Most of us will have grown up in an environment where mom buys the groceries and dad buys cars, audio/visual equipment and computers. We have seen our first role models behave in this way and some of it is still subconsciously with us. Our individualistic tendencies will lead us into situations where we may feel that we should be able to buy this or that, but the way to consider all purchases is as joint purchases, decided together, from the household budget and equally contributed to. There should be no division of “who buys what” and by talking through how you are going to spend your money together, problematic scenarios can be avoided.
Money Secrets
Keeping quiet about how much money you have put aside, or how much debt you have gotten into, can create one of the biggest problems in a relationship. One partner may be completely stressed out about how the bills are going to be paid at the end of the month, whilst the other is picturing foreign holidays, expensive wines and fast cars. There may be a time when one partner has found themselves in debt and is reluctant to tell the other. It could be because they have made a silly mistake or the way that events have unfolded against them, but by keeping money secrets, you not only amplify the problem but damage the relationship. “A problem shared is a problem halved”.
Lack of Flexibility
Remember that you are a team and should be working together. There has to be a certain amount of give and take regarding the finances in a relationship. You may be very compatible with your partner, but no two people are exactly alike and by applying a little flexibility in how you manage your money together, you will get through many of the issues facing couples today. There is an old saying that “when poverty comes through the door, love flies out the window” and if you can combine common sense, honesty and elasticity to your financial situation, then you will avoid the common financial mistakes that couples make.
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Guest Post by Sarah Harris, representative for Massage Therapy, the premier online resource for those trying to locate massage therapy schools.
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Thanks a lot for the useful information. This will help so many couples that are struggling. Finances are really thought when you are married and things like this really help.
Thanks for the comment. True enough, a lot of arguments can come primarily from the financial aspects.
Do you have any stories to share about that happens to your friends or acquitances?
I really need something related to this topic..I wanna give thanks for this wonderful post…
thank you
I am hoping that people do not hop on some cheaper foreclosed property in hopes of selling it for more money down the line, but are still not able to and are then stuck with their place.
Thanks for sharing this article. I do understand the challenges that personal finance does when you take marriage into the equation. You also need to consider how financially literate your partner is. Besides, money is such an emotional issue that it often creates problems in couples.
This matter is not a problem if the couple trust and love each other, the money is a problem when 2 professional individuals are very much earning for themselves then this problem arises.
This is so true- couples need to work on their finances much as they work on their homes, their relationship and their children. Being open and planning finances together is vital because money matters most when you’re in debt.
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This is a really good post. Lack of flexibility is a key point.
having single account helps in understanding the financial status of the family….